Surviving

I survived the weekend.  It was very difficult though!  At TOPS I was down 3 pounds this week, which is encouraging.  When I see progress on the scale, I have more motivation to keep it up.  I've been trying to push myself to get more motivated and exercise more too.  

And now that I have the motivation to go to the gym, I can't.  They are closed for remodeling until Wednesday :(  And I've also found out that a friend of mine goes to the same gym, and we've been missing each other just by an hour out there.  We're going to try coordinating to go together for accountability and motivational purposes.

I have a confession to make.  I had been down a total of 27 pounds not too long after we had lost Baden.  But because of the stress and depression I've been fighting with, I have gained almost all of it back.  As of last weigh in, I am a total of 5 pounds below my starting weight at TOPS, which is my highest weight ever.  And I'm not happy about it.  I do know that being on the 'diabetic diet' does have significant weight loss effects just from when I was on it when I was pregnant.  However, unlike when I was pregnant, I have been able to incorporate exercise into the mix.

Hitting the gym has also helped to deal with more of my stress too.  All the pent-up energy from being angry or frustrated I redirect to my workout.  Since the weather is a bit cooler now, I'm going to try to get out walking in the neighborhood.  Unfortunately I won't be able to multitask and do my reading while I'm walking, so I'll have to make up for that somehow.

I've been trying to plan out my meals to help with keeping my carbs in check.  Saturday I had class and packed a lunch of stir-fried veggies and a little rice to take with me.  For supper we were invited to the campground to eat with my parents and family.  Unfortunately most of what was being served was not on my menu.  I brought my own pork chops and a summer squash since, in addition to the low carbs, the dietitian said "low salt and low fat."   They were serving ribs, corn, potatoes, and cornbread.  I can have potatoes, but I didn't realize they were being served in a creamy gravy.  I took some anyway and scraped most of the sauce off and also had a half ear of corn.  I did take a little bite off of my husband's cornbread, just so I could have a taste.

I'm very proud of myself for not giving in and breaking down.  I did it again on Sunday for lunch when we went to the family reunion too.  I'm still amazed I was able to peel off and give up my crispy chicken skin (my FAVE!!) to my husband.  A few tablespoons of tater tot hotdish, some applesauce, some musk melon.  Like I said, I'm surviving.  It's amazing how easily I've been saying no to some of the things I really love.

The hard thing to give up is my Coke.  If I don't have any, I end up with a horrid migraine.  So I've allowed a compromise:  I use one meal's carbs toward one can of Coke, usually in the morning because I have that and some eggs for breakfast.  My doc has suggested that giving up caffeine will help with my fluid retention problem.  But fall is coming and I love my coffee. I just can't bring myself to drinking decaf.  I think I should be OK as long as I don't add a bunch of carbs in sweeteners/creamers to it.  I'll have to check my Coffeemate, since I have 2 bottles of it.

I suppose - I need to try to get motivated for the day.  Scrappy has preschool orientation tonight and starts preschool on Thursday.  I need to get some laundry done, maybe throw him in the tub, and I really should get my house cleaned up and catch up on dishes.  I can't wait until we start (and finish!) construction so I have a place to actually PUT things!  And I can't wait to get my new office since our contractor has decided to put another room on the 2nd floor!!  This just isn't moving fast enough for me :(  Oh well, good things come to those who wait, right?  Right?