The Breaking Point

I think this is the point I'm starting to get to.  Not because of anything I did, though, or because I over committed.  Because of the frikken insurance company.

If they're going to deny Baden's life insurance claim, I wish they'd deny it already instead of dragging it out for so long.  I swear the woman from the company has absolutely NO compassion. 

How many times can they expect me to be able to tell and retell the events that happened that week?  How many times to I have to recount what I went through losing my son?  What kind of sadists are they when, 5 months later, they're still making me tell and retell everything that has happened with him??  They obviously have no clue the emotional toll this takes on a mother!!  They want to talk to my husband too, so he can tell them the same flippin thing I've been telling them for the last 5 months.

I swore I would keep my blog clean, so I am trying so hard not to swear up a storm right now!

My wonderful husband was not happy that the insurance lady made his wife cry.  Or of the many accusations that the insurance lady made.  He called, ready to rip her a new one, only to find out that she had left the office for the day.  She told me she wouldn't be in until after noon, but the secretary told my husband she would be there at 8 am.  He said she won't have a chance to even set down her cup of coffee and he'll be down her throat. 

I must say, I love it when my husband goes all pit-bull protective of me.  It's not something I've ever been used to before - most guys I'd dated in the past just let me fight my own fights.  Including my ex-husband.  But that's why they're just that - exes. 

I am emotionally drained - I am worn out.  I'm doing my best to keep my head above water, but I don't know how many more straws can be piled on the camel's back.

Gotta just keep reminding myself to keep breathing....

This too shall pass....

I'm getting a headache :(  I hope that decides to pass as well!!!!

My Crazy-Busy Life

I really don't know what I would ever do if I wasn't so busy all the time.  Have I mentioned lately that in addition to all my normal hecticness, I've added "Girl Scout Troop Leader" to my many credentials and time commitments?  If I'm going to be taking my daughter there and back anyway, and I wanna spend more time with her, why not?  I'm a Cadette leader and tomorrow she is taking the huge step of bridging from being a Brownie to a Junior! Yay Beau!!  I will definitely have to post some pictures!!  I know she's not under me yet, but we still get to go to all the events together, and have a lot of fun doing it!!  After tomorrow's ceremony (which our Troop Leader so sweetly convinced me to develop/write/orchestrate) we have our end of year trip on May 20, and maybe we'll plan a summer activity.  We'd really like to do some camping, which will serve dual purpose because my girls can earn badges doing that.

I'm almost done with school for this semester.  With all the chaos of my Scrappy losing insurance, and the endless meetings we've been going through, and the endless stacks of paperwork (not to mention how horribly far behind I've gotten with my housework!!!) I had to drop a couple classes, so I won't graduate until fall now.  I have one more class this semester and that will be the end of May, which isn't so bad.  It's only 3 days.

Then there's my business.  It's slowing down a little bit again - which is a HUGE frustration.  I'm hoping to come up with enough money to be able to do the fair this year, which would help me to get a lot more leads.  I'm looking for the chance to attend any events coming up soon to help get my name out again too!!!

And the walk.  This will be my family's 4th year participating in the walk.  Great Strides for Cystic Fibrosis, that is.  It used to be a 10k, but now is a 5k.  You can learn more about why we walk by visiting www.cff.org/great_strides/  We only have 1 week until the Walk - May 5th.  Unfortunately I'm a little out of practice and need to get my butt moving again... I've kinda been slacking on the workouts, but I haven't been feeling so wonderful - not to mention the S.T.R.E.S.S.!!!!!

Hopefully the stress will lessen soon... we got Scrappy's TEFRA application turned in with all the paperwork.  Too bad the life insurance company is still fighting us.  I need to call the information desk at the hospital again to see what the status is from them.  I told my hubby I think we need a lawyer.  I'm going to call and make an appointment with Legal Aid on Monday.

Here's a picture of my cutie with his bear.  He thought the bear needed to wear some big-boy underpants too :)

Have you ever seen a bear, wearing underwear, down by the bay? lol!

Exhaustipated

I wish I could take credit for that brilliant little word, but I found it on Facebook yesterday - and quite fitting.  I've been up every night, coughing up a lung from some postnasal drainage, so my AMAZING husband decided to let me get some much-needed rest.  I went to bed at 9:30 last night - and didn't get up until 10:30 this morning!!  Needless to say we missed church, but I can definitely say I feel a WHOLE LOT better!!

The last few months have been quite busy and many things have been going on... I'm still trying to sort it all out.  I've met with the counselor at my school a few times.  I've found out that I don't have a fear of failure, but I do have a fear of success.  Who would've thought?  Which explains why I have trouble finishing things I start.  And why I procrastinate on some things.  Or commit self-sabatoge.  Like with Weight Watchers before and TOPS now... I was doing so well, and now I've started backsliding again, making excuses and getting lazy about what I SHOULD be doing.

I've checked a few things off my list, though, with the help of the counselor.

I've applied to Walden University for my Master's degree - MBA self-designed with focus on Project Management and Leadership.

I've also taken the first steps towards becoming truly self-employed.  Actually, I have my first consult with a client tomorrow.  I figured out what I want to do and how I can help people.  My business is to help people get their homes - and their lives - organized and under control.  Each client is like taking on a new 'project.'  I'm pretty excited!!!  I need to come up with a business name though.....

I had to push back my AAS degee completion to next semester now, though.  With Scrappy losing his insurance, I've been extremely overwhelmed with the amount of paperwork I need to do to try to get him on disability.  As a result, I've let a couple classes slide.. and now will need to retake them later :( 

I'm still kinda tired today.... thinking I should go to bed.  Hopefully I have the time (and energy) to update more soon!!!!