Hubby got home about 9:45 last night from work. I waited for him, then headed to bed around 10. I didn't have much energy yesterday afternoon. Scrappy refused to nap, instead going up to the room he and his sister share and they played Barbies while Mama took a short snooze in the recliner. After supper, the two of them headed back upstairs to play while I vegged out in my recliner and wrote my blog and watched a little tv. I skipped my workout because I could hardly stay awake to write my entry.
Today was Beau's first day of winter break. Scrappy crawled in bed with me after daddy got up and slept for a while but decided 7:40 would be a good time to get up, which is ok except I was hoping to sleep in a little more since I wake up quite often during the night. I'm not a light sleeper - hubby says I can sleep through almost anything. Except the sleep doesn't last long. It's not uncommon for me to wake up 4 or 5 times during the night. I usually have no idea what time it is since I can't see the clock without my glasses or contacts. It seems to take forever to get back to sleep though.
After the kids had breakfast, I read a little more on my favorite blog (which I discovered a couple months ago - but I'm going back and catching up from the beginning, just a little at a time!) and they went upstairs to play again. After a little while I dozed off again, only to be woken by Beau yelling at me about how mean her little brother is. He was crabby and wanted his way, and she wanted to complain about every little thing he did. Finally I told them if they couldn't play NICE, they weren't going to play upstairs or with Barbies anymore.
I didn't get my workout in this morning either (maybe that was today's problem!). My back was sore and I was tired (excuses, I know). I was supposed to head over to my bestie's house to help her make Christmas treats this morning. I waited for her call to say she was ready. She didn't text me until 11:45 to say she had JUST woken up! LOL!! I was in the process of making lunch for me and the kids - leftovers. Scrappy hasn't been wanting to eat too much lately, but for some reason pb&j seemed to hit the perfect spot for him and he ate almost a full half of his sandwich!! I finally talked to her after lunch. We had to pick up some meds for Beau since she's still kind of barking from her bout with croup. It was 3:30 by the time we finally got over there. We had a good time making treats, in spite of neither of us having much energy. (Hubby thinks that if I would have done my workout, I wouldn't have been so tired. Probably right. And I probably wouldn't have been so tired if I would've made my pot of coffee before noon too!!)
We have our Christmas shopping done, save for a few more stocking stuffers. I have to make the goodies to take to my aunt's house tomorrow too. It doesn't feel like Christmas though. And I don't mean because of all that has happened. I mean because there is NO SNOW on the ground - and for Minnesota, that is very odd!!! And it's supposed to be 40 degrees on Christmas Day! That's just not right! But there is definitely plenty of Christmas spirit going around and it has traveled to Minnesota. I've been hearing and reading news articles about 'secret Santas' who have been paying off people's layaways at various stores, particularly in Wisconsin, Illinois, Indiana, Missouri, and a few other places. Well, we had a visit from a secret Santa of our own!! One of hubby's co-workers (who doesn't have children of his own) bought and wrapped some presents for our kids, as did his mother-in-law, and signed them from Santa a few days ago. Today, hubby went out to his van after work to find a couple more presents - these ones unwrapped - sitting on his van with a note saying they were from Santa. His boss said he saw the gifts sitting there, but has no idea where they came from, and either does anyone else. It's nice to see the Christmas spirit spreading so much. I just wish there was something we could do to thank the person who gave it to the kids.
It really looks like this Christmas is going to be a special one for our family.
Friday, December 23, 2011
Thursday, December 22, 2011
A Sign From Above
Today was a TOPS day - and the second to last weigh in for the year. I'm in that area that is 'dangerous territory' for me. Yeah, I gained the last 2 weigh ins before this one - a little over 4 pounds in 2 weeks. This week I LOST 2 pounds - yay!! As of Dec 1, I was down a total of 26.25 pounds, but I was also just back to TOPS and just starting to recover from my surgery and had dropped 20 pounds in about 2 weeks (not exactly healthy even considering I had just had a baby!!) My goal for this year is to be at the -25 pound mark at the end of the year. At Weight Watchers, I had a difficult time when I got close to the 25 pound mark - I kinda freaked myself out and blew it. I don't know why. I think maybe I'm afraid of success? It happens often when I get close to some big accomplishment. Self sabotage.
I haven't had the best day today, but it hasn't been the worst either. Beau is home from school for Winter Break. She goes back on Jan 3. I am looking forward to sleeping in a bit. I'm exhausted today!! I didn't get my workout in. I have been doing it in the morning, but this morning was too busy. And by the time I got home this afternoon, I was too exhausted. I guess I stayed up too late last night working :(
After TOPS, I had some errands to run before going to pick up the kids and hubby. Then we went to the cemetery to visit our Little Warrior and to take his beautiful Christmas wreath out. A good friend from TOPS decorated it for us.
I know he was watching over us today... he gave us a sign. The cemetery where he is buried - near much of my family - is on it's own road on the North side of town. The road does not lead anywhere else. Today has been quite a cloudy day, but as we turned onto the cemetery road, the sun came out from behind the clouds. I looked at my husband and told him that I know our Little Warrior was watching over us and knows that we were there. In spite of the biting cold wind, the sun stayed out until we left there. Honestly, it gave me a peace. I know it's only his physical body there at the cemetery, but I felt a lot closer to him there. We are going to my grandma's for Christmas Day, so we are going to stop out there to wish him a Merry Christmas too. Here are some pictures of my angel during his brief stay here on earth....
Isn't that just the proudest looking Daddy?? I remember the look on his face very clearly when the doctor held our little guy up.... in spite of the scrubs and surgical mask (emergency c-section), I could tell my dear husband was very proud and was smiling so large.
He is my best friend and the most amazing man I could ever ask for :) If I had to go through all of this, there's no one I'd rather have by my side than him <3
I don't know if it's because of our loss and the struggles we've been going through, or if aliens have abducted my husband and replaced him with a facsimile, or what exactly, but I'm not going to complain. He has been a lot more attentive/cuddly/loving towards me lately. Yeah, we snuggle at night and in the morning a little, but usually not too much. He says he's not a 'huggy/kissy type of person." But lately it seems he's become much more affectionate and doesn't mind PDAs as much as he used to. Who is he and what has he done with MY husband?? haha!! Shhh - I didn't say that! I like it and I hope it lasts!!!
I haven't had the best day today, but it hasn't been the worst either. Beau is home from school for Winter Break. She goes back on Jan 3. I am looking forward to sleeping in a bit. I'm exhausted today!! I didn't get my workout in. I have been doing it in the morning, but this morning was too busy. And by the time I got home this afternoon, I was too exhausted. I guess I stayed up too late last night working :(
After TOPS, I had some errands to run before going to pick up the kids and hubby. Then we went to the cemetery to visit our Little Warrior and to take his beautiful Christmas wreath out. A good friend from TOPS decorated it for us.
I know he was watching over us today... he gave us a sign. The cemetery where he is buried - near much of my family - is on it's own road on the North side of town. The road does not lead anywhere else. Today has been quite a cloudy day, but as we turned onto the cemetery road, the sun came out from behind the clouds. I looked at my husband and told him that I know our Little Warrior was watching over us and knows that we were there. In spite of the biting cold wind, the sun stayed out until we left there. Honestly, it gave me a peace. I know it's only his physical body there at the cemetery, but I felt a lot closer to him there. We are going to my grandma's for Christmas Day, so we are going to stop out there to wish him a Merry Christmas too. Here are some pictures of my angel during his brief stay here on earth....
Isn't that just the proudest looking Daddy?? I remember the look on his face very clearly when the doctor held our little guy up.... in spite of the scrubs and surgical mask (emergency c-section), I could tell my dear husband was very proud and was smiling so large.
He is my best friend and the most amazing man I could ever ask for :) If I had to go through all of this, there's no one I'd rather have by my side than him <3
I don't know if it's because of our loss and the struggles we've been going through, or if aliens have abducted my husband and replaced him with a facsimile, or what exactly, but I'm not going to complain. He has been a lot more attentive/cuddly/loving towards me lately. Yeah, we snuggle at night and in the morning a little, but usually not too much. He says he's not a 'huggy/kissy type of person." But lately it seems he's become much more affectionate and doesn't mind PDAs as much as he used to. Who is he and what has he done with MY husband?? haha!! Shhh - I didn't say that! I like it and I hope it lasts!!!
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
The Learning Curve
Ok, so I admit - I'm not very technically proficient. I can use things - once I'm shown how... otherwise it sometimes takes a while to figure them out on my own. And I don't like reading the instructions since they're usually written in Greek. (Ok, so I'm making myself to sound lazy now too)
Like my Blackberry. I still don't know how all the apps and stuff work..
Like my Wii Fit. I've had it for quite some time, and just made a discovery in the last couple days. Notice the + dividers on it?
Well, that explains why I just COULD NOT get the hang of doing Advanced Step. I could do the regular step and the blue side steps. I had trouble getting the timing down of the green kicks. And for some reason I would have "missed" steps on the purple steps, in spite of putting both feet up and keeping time. I was getting VERY frustrated!! When doing the step, one is on the top half of the board, and the other is on the bottom half. Stupid me, I was stepping in the MIDDLE of the board and not paying attention to the lines. DUH!! I don't think it helps much having a 3 year old Scrappy-man crawling around on the floor all around me as I'm trying to step up and down and side to side from it!! haha - that's a workout all in itself!!
Another thing I've recently learned is about HOW I do my workout. I've been focusing mostly on doing aerobics - step and boxing - and maybe a few balance games and yoga woven in there. It's still hard to get into some positions since my stomach is still infected (I REALLY wish it would clear up :/ ). I've been doing about 30 minutes in the morning and trying to get another 30 in the afternoon. My discovery? I have to do more than 30 minutes, because I don't break a sweat until almost 30 minutes!!! But today I changed things up a little bit. I made myself do more of the yoga - about 10 minutes before I started anything else. I did the Basic Step twice, then went to my boxing - but skipped the 3 minute level, which I usually use as a warm up. I went straight to the advanced 6 minute, and was feeling more of my workout. I even got brave after doing some Advanced Step and tried Expert boxing!!! Whew! What a workout!!! Talk about working those muscles! And I had sweat running down my forehead - quite uncommon for me! I must be doing something right now! I need to start working more yoga and the strength training in..... I'm just really hoping my work shows on the scale tomorrow.....
And a little update on canning... yes I'm still doing a little here and there - did some bean and ham soup.
*Note to self - check Salvation Army for jars.
**Note to self - make more applesauce next year - and in the quart and pint (not half-pint) jars.
***Note to self - can tomatoes instead of freezing next year so have freezer space for meat.
****Note to readers - DO NOT can the chicken stock unless you have a pressure cooker and can use it to seal your jars!!! My frozen chicken stock came out just fine, but the canned chicken and stock had gone rancid since I just used a hot water bath. (I've also been told that the hot water bath works IF you boil the jars for 3-4 hours)
Like my Blackberry. I still don't know how all the apps and stuff work..
Like my Wii Fit. I've had it for quite some time, and just made a discovery in the last couple days. Notice the + dividers on it?
Well, that explains why I just COULD NOT get the hang of doing Advanced Step. I could do the regular step and the blue side steps. I had trouble getting the timing down of the green kicks. And for some reason I would have "missed" steps on the purple steps, in spite of putting both feet up and keeping time. I was getting VERY frustrated!! When doing the step, one is on the top half of the board, and the other is on the bottom half. Stupid me, I was stepping in the MIDDLE of the board and not paying attention to the lines. DUH!! I don't think it helps much having a 3 year old Scrappy-man crawling around on the floor all around me as I'm trying to step up and down and side to side from it!! haha - that's a workout all in itself!!
Another thing I've recently learned is about HOW I do my workout. I've been focusing mostly on doing aerobics - step and boxing - and maybe a few balance games and yoga woven in there. It's still hard to get into some positions since my stomach is still infected (I REALLY wish it would clear up :/ ). I've been doing about 30 minutes in the morning and trying to get another 30 in the afternoon. My discovery? I have to do more than 30 minutes, because I don't break a sweat until almost 30 minutes!!! But today I changed things up a little bit. I made myself do more of the yoga - about 10 minutes before I started anything else. I did the Basic Step twice, then went to my boxing - but skipped the 3 minute level, which I usually use as a warm up. I went straight to the advanced 6 minute, and was feeling more of my workout. I even got brave after doing some Advanced Step and tried Expert boxing!!! Whew! What a workout!!! Talk about working those muscles! And I had sweat running down my forehead - quite uncommon for me! I must be doing something right now! I need to start working more yoga and the strength training in..... I'm just really hoping my work shows on the scale tomorrow.....
And a little update on canning... yes I'm still doing a little here and there - did some bean and ham soup.
*Note to self - check Salvation Army for jars.
**Note to self - make more applesauce next year - and in the quart and pint (not half-pint) jars.
***Note to self - can tomatoes instead of freezing next year so have freezer space for meat.
****Note to readers - DO NOT can the chicken stock unless you have a pressure cooker and can use it to seal your jars!!! My frozen chicken stock came out just fine, but the canned chicken and stock had gone rancid since I just used a hot water bath. (I've also been told that the hot water bath works IF you boil the jars for 3-4 hours)
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Doing it!
I've been keeping quite busy in spite of the emotional turmoil. It's been a month today since we lost Baden, but I'm holding up as good as can be expected. I had to go to the college today to pick up some paperwork to appeal 2 classes that I failed so they won't affect my GPA. According to the counselor, my appeal should be granted based on the circumstances. It's still hard to believe....
I've been pushing myself along. I stuck to my workout plan until Thursday. The kids were at Grammy's, so I took advantage of the time and spent the afternoon wrapping Christmas presents since I can't always count on naptime and Christmas is quickly approaching. The tree looked rather odd without anything under it too. There's an imbalance of gifts - Beau seems to have more than Scrappy, but he has some bigger (ie, more expensive) than she does. Quite a few of hers are smaller gifts. But they all come out to about the same amount. I think next year, we need to be sure to set a limit on the dollar amount. It just seems too easy to get "just one more" thing for one, then for the other.... it's not working for our plans for saving money.
Friday I honestly just didn't have the motivation to do anything, let alone my workout routine. Saturday morning I woke up with a very, very sore and stiff knee. I broke my left ankle when I was 2 and believe I had messed up my knee at that time, since I've ALWAYS had problems with my left knee as long as I can remember. Then, my senior year in high school, I was in a bad car accident and buried my knee in the steering column of my car, which was totalled. I must seem old, because I can usually predict a change in weather based on how my knee feels. If it hurts to walk up or down stairs and feels like it's going to give out, it means something's up. The pain didn't go away until Monday morning, so I resumed my workout on the Fit and upped it to an hour, followed with 45 minutes today.
I've been trying several different strategies on how to cut down on costs since I'm still not back to work yet. My plan is to start up again in January - hoping my clients agree!!!! In January, I'm due for an upgrade on my cell phone. Unlike many people, I'm going to do just the opposite and downgrade. I have a smartphone right now - Blackberry Curve - which I love, but realistically the costs are just CRAZY. I need to check into other plans for the smartphone, but I know the cheapest way to go right now with our provider is to eliminate the data plan. That will free up some of my meager pay to go towards other bills. I've also eliminated another $35 monthly bill by giving up my storage unit. I have had it for 5 years, and much of the stuff in there has never been touched. There are totes upon totes of toys that the kids don't even know they HAVE, and the ridiculous amount of stuffed animals and too small clothes. My plan is to have a garage sale in the spring, or maybe 2, and then try to consign some of the stuff that doesn't sell and donate some to the Epilepsy Foundation. I love donating to them, particularly since they will pick up donations curbside, rain or shine.
I have become absolutely addicted to a frugality website I found when looking for a recipe for homemade baby wipes. No, I didn't make the wipes, but I've found many of the tips Heather posts to be quite helpful. I'm currently undertaking her Pantry Challenge which has actually helped with my menu planning. I've started cooking some things I haven't made in a while. The only exceptions to the challenge for me right now is that Christmas is this week, so I will have to do some cooking to take a few treats to my aunt's on Christmas Eve, and the fact that we get WIC, which cover some of the items listed, but there are a few other items on there that aren't "staples." My husband isn't on board with the challenge, but I'm going to do my best anyway. For example, yesterday for lunch Scrappy and I had homemade pork fried rice made completely with on hand items and using up leftover pork roast from a couple nights ago. Last night I made chicken enchilada casserole. I didn't have any enchilada sauce, but with a quick online search, I found a recipe for a homemade one and I had all the necessary ingredients on hand :) I had leftover sauce, which I'll try to use later this week, and honestly it was a LOT better than the store-bought packages!! I would LOVE to make homemade bread, since that's one ingredient that's not listed as a staple, but my husband prefers store-bought bread for sandwiches :( Maybe I'll make it anyway, and maybe he'll change his mind.... Maybe.... Beau was upset that she didn't get any fried rice, so tonight I made chicken fried rice to placate her. My poor family - they may be eating a lot of oatmeal and rice the next couple weeks since we have both coming out our ears :/ So, like I said, I'm trying the challenge with a few modifications!
I need to go check out the local second hand stores in the next couple weeks.... my vacuum sealer decided it wanted to die on me now that I finally FOUND it again. So that is going to need to be replaced. I had called my mom to see if I could borrow her bread machine to see how much I would use one IF I had one.... but she doesn't have it anymore. She traded it to my aunt. So maybe I'll see if I can find a used one for cheap.
And I know I've said it before, but I'm trying to get a schedule set to do some blogging more often. I'm happy that I've been doing pretty good with organizing and sorting throughout the house. It helps that I do my workout in the mornings - I have SO much more energy to get other things done. I've been trying to get 2 workouts in when possible. I do my morning one while Scrappy is doing to nebby and vest treatments and try to get the second one in when he is napping. (For those who don't know me/my family personally, Scrappy has Cystic Fibrosis, which is the main reason we decided to sacrifice having 2 full-time incomes for 1 full- and 1 part-time... and he's been a LOT healthier!!)
The last 2 weeks, I've gained a total of just over 4 pounds at TOPS, and I'm not too happy with it. Hopefully all this work will start to pay off soon. And the fact that I've really cut down on how much Coke I drink and been cooking healthier. Now only if I wasn't eating so much... time to break the chia out!!!!
I've been pushing myself along. I stuck to my workout plan until Thursday. The kids were at Grammy's, so I took advantage of the time and spent the afternoon wrapping Christmas presents since I can't always count on naptime and Christmas is quickly approaching. The tree looked rather odd without anything under it too. There's an imbalance of gifts - Beau seems to have more than Scrappy, but he has some bigger (ie, more expensive) than she does. Quite a few of hers are smaller gifts. But they all come out to about the same amount. I think next year, we need to be sure to set a limit on the dollar amount. It just seems too easy to get "just one more" thing for one, then for the other.... it's not working for our plans for saving money.
Friday I honestly just didn't have the motivation to do anything, let alone my workout routine. Saturday morning I woke up with a very, very sore and stiff knee. I broke my left ankle when I was 2 and believe I had messed up my knee at that time, since I've ALWAYS had problems with my left knee as long as I can remember. Then, my senior year in high school, I was in a bad car accident and buried my knee in the steering column of my car, which was totalled. I must seem old, because I can usually predict a change in weather based on how my knee feels. If it hurts to walk up or down stairs and feels like it's going to give out, it means something's up. The pain didn't go away until Monday morning, so I resumed my workout on the Fit and upped it to an hour, followed with 45 minutes today.
I've been trying several different strategies on how to cut down on costs since I'm still not back to work yet. My plan is to start up again in January - hoping my clients agree!!!! In January, I'm due for an upgrade on my cell phone. Unlike many people, I'm going to do just the opposite and downgrade. I have a smartphone right now - Blackberry Curve - which I love, but realistically the costs are just CRAZY. I need to check into other plans for the smartphone, but I know the cheapest way to go right now with our provider is to eliminate the data plan. That will free up some of my meager pay to go towards other bills. I've also eliminated another $35 monthly bill by giving up my storage unit. I have had it for 5 years, and much of the stuff in there has never been touched. There are totes upon totes of toys that the kids don't even know they HAVE, and the ridiculous amount of stuffed animals and too small clothes. My plan is to have a garage sale in the spring, or maybe 2, and then try to consign some of the stuff that doesn't sell and donate some to the Epilepsy Foundation. I love donating to them, particularly since they will pick up donations curbside, rain or shine.
I have become absolutely addicted to a frugality website I found when looking for a recipe for homemade baby wipes. No, I didn't make the wipes, but I've found many of the tips Heather posts to be quite helpful. I'm currently undertaking her Pantry Challenge which has actually helped with my menu planning. I've started cooking some things I haven't made in a while. The only exceptions to the challenge for me right now is that Christmas is this week, so I will have to do some cooking to take a few treats to my aunt's on Christmas Eve, and the fact that we get WIC, which cover some of the items listed, but there are a few other items on there that aren't "staples." My husband isn't on board with the challenge, but I'm going to do my best anyway. For example, yesterday for lunch Scrappy and I had homemade pork fried rice made completely with on hand items and using up leftover pork roast from a couple nights ago. Last night I made chicken enchilada casserole. I didn't have any enchilada sauce, but with a quick online search, I found a recipe for a homemade one and I had all the necessary ingredients on hand :) I had leftover sauce, which I'll try to use later this week, and honestly it was a LOT better than the store-bought packages!! I would LOVE to make homemade bread, since that's one ingredient that's not listed as a staple, but my husband prefers store-bought bread for sandwiches :( Maybe I'll make it anyway, and maybe he'll change his mind.... Maybe.... Beau was upset that she didn't get any fried rice, so tonight I made chicken fried rice to placate her. My poor family - they may be eating a lot of oatmeal and rice the next couple weeks since we have both coming out our ears :/ So, like I said, I'm trying the challenge with a few modifications!
I need to go check out the local second hand stores in the next couple weeks.... my vacuum sealer decided it wanted to die on me now that I finally FOUND it again. So that is going to need to be replaced. I had called my mom to see if I could borrow her bread machine to see how much I would use one IF I had one.... but she doesn't have it anymore. She traded it to my aunt. So maybe I'll see if I can find a used one for cheap.
And I know I've said it before, but I'm trying to get a schedule set to do some blogging more often. I'm happy that I've been doing pretty good with organizing and sorting throughout the house. It helps that I do my workout in the mornings - I have SO much more energy to get other things done. I've been trying to get 2 workouts in when possible. I do my morning one while Scrappy is doing to nebby and vest treatments and try to get the second one in when he is napping. (For those who don't know me/my family personally, Scrappy has Cystic Fibrosis, which is the main reason we decided to sacrifice having 2 full-time incomes for 1 full- and 1 part-time... and he's been a LOT healthier!!)
The last 2 weeks, I've gained a total of just over 4 pounds at TOPS, and I'm not too happy with it. Hopefully all this work will start to pay off soon. And the fact that I've really cut down on how much Coke I drink and been cooking healthier. Now only if I wasn't eating so much... time to break the chia out!!!!
Monday, December 12, 2011
What's Next?
It's been over a month since my last entry - again. Today marks what would have been the one month birthday of my darling baby boy. I don't have the heart, or control of the emotions, to re-write all that has happened with my angel, but he has left us. He is no longer in pain. You can read his story and his battle at www.caringbridge.org/visit/BadenScot.
My doctor has helped with getting my emotions under control with some new medications. The anxiety and the depression are under better control - it's not easy to deal with in the slightest. So I've decided to focus on taking care of myself more.
I've given up on using my gym membership. Maybe if there was a gym on this side of town, I wouldn't have as much of an issue actually GOING. But warming up the car, driving across town and fighting traffic, just gives me another reason to procrastinate. The time of day is another reason to procrastinate - I'd either have to go early in the morning before hubby goes to work, or at night after he gets home. Lately he's been putting in more overtime to make up for the time he took off with my hospital stay and the funeral. This includes working Saturdays. He's also making up for me not working since we decided, especially with the holidays, that I'm taking off the rest of the year. (Partly because of my surgery, partly because people just don't have the money for shows during Christmas.) I can't take the kids with me, and I can't afford to pay for a sitter just so I can go.
I'm going to try something a little different. My hubby got me a Wii Fit 2 1/2 years ago as a present. I hate to say it hasn't been used as much as I had planned to use it. I've started getting into a habit of making it part of my daily routine this past week though!! That is my new plan - to put in 30 minutes most days of the week, if not more. I'm on Day 5 right now and have been doing pretty good so far!! Yesterday I also started doing the dance workout setting on the Wii using Beau's Disney Dance Dance Revolution (DDR) and the dance mat. It gives the option of choosing to burn a certain number of calories or going for a time, and I use the time option. 15 minutes yesterday and 30 today. The first 3 days I started with the Fit, I was doing the Fit 2 times per day. Yesterday and today I did one workout on the DDR and one with the Fit (I only did half of my Fit workout so far - I'm going to do some more when Scraps goes down for a nap...)
So where is my weight-loss effort sitting at right now? When Baden was born, I was still down 6 pounds from my start weight. I went back to TOPS on Dec 1 and my loss for the day was 20 pounds. Last week, Dec 8, I did gain back a little bit - I was up 2 3/4 pounds. But I also wasn't eating the best and drinking a TON of Coke every day. I'm getting that back into moderation again. Let's see how this week goes!!
My doctor has helped with getting my emotions under control with some new medications. The anxiety and the depression are under better control - it's not easy to deal with in the slightest. So I've decided to focus on taking care of myself more.
I've given up on using my gym membership. Maybe if there was a gym on this side of town, I wouldn't have as much of an issue actually GOING. But warming up the car, driving across town and fighting traffic, just gives me another reason to procrastinate. The time of day is another reason to procrastinate - I'd either have to go early in the morning before hubby goes to work, or at night after he gets home. Lately he's been putting in more overtime to make up for the time he took off with my hospital stay and the funeral. This includes working Saturdays. He's also making up for me not working since we decided, especially with the holidays, that I'm taking off the rest of the year. (Partly because of my surgery, partly because people just don't have the money for shows during Christmas.) I can't take the kids with me, and I can't afford to pay for a sitter just so I can go.
I'm going to try something a little different. My hubby got me a Wii Fit 2 1/2 years ago as a present. I hate to say it hasn't been used as much as I had planned to use it. I've started getting into a habit of making it part of my daily routine this past week though!! That is my new plan - to put in 30 minutes most days of the week, if not more. I'm on Day 5 right now and have been doing pretty good so far!! Yesterday I also started doing the dance workout setting on the Wii using Beau's Disney Dance Dance Revolution (DDR) and the dance mat. It gives the option of choosing to burn a certain number of calories or going for a time, and I use the time option. 15 minutes yesterday and 30 today. The first 3 days I started with the Fit, I was doing the Fit 2 times per day. Yesterday and today I did one workout on the DDR and one with the Fit (I only did half of my Fit workout so far - I'm going to do some more when Scraps goes down for a nap...)
So where is my weight-loss effort sitting at right now? When Baden was born, I was still down 6 pounds from my start weight. I went back to TOPS on Dec 1 and my loss for the day was 20 pounds. Last week, Dec 8, I did gain back a little bit - I was up 2 3/4 pounds. But I also wasn't eating the best and drinking a TON of Coke every day. I'm getting that back into moderation again. Let's see how this week goes!!
Saturday, November 5, 2011
First Admission
I had a checkup for baby yesterday since I'm on 2x per week checkups now. There were 3 parts to the checkup: First the non-stress test (NST), then the ultrasound, then meet with the doc. We saw Dr W again this time.
The NST went much like the last one we did, in spite of my attempt to get Baby to wake up by slamming part of a bottle of Coke for my morning carbs. I started out on my back, then the nurse had me roll to my right side and propped me up with a pillow. We noticed my blood pressure spike quite drastically when I was on my back - I was giving off readings of 148/94, which is MUCH higher than what they want to see. Baby seemed to be sleeping throughout the test again. After 20 minutes, the nurse took a buzzer and put it on my stomach to wake baby up. Then she explained a little better what exactly they're looking for since she was training a new tech. They need Baby's heart rate to increase by 15 beats per minute and stay elevated for at least 10 seconds. Baby has to do this at least 2 times in 10 minutes for the test to be considered 'reactive,' which is what the goal is. The buzzer really seemed to do the trick - I got the living daylights kicked out of me for the next half hour! lol!!
We had another ultrasound to measure the fluid levels around Baby. We were told the level is in the 'normal' range, although it's on the lower side of the normal. This is another thing they're really keeping an eye on. We got a pretty cute face shot of Baby though :)
Next we went to see Dr W. She asked about my sugar levels, which have been really good since I've been on the Glyburide. In spite of me overdoing some of my carbs a little bit now and then, my numbers are staying in range. I've noticed quite often I underdo my carbs too, though. Anyway, Dr W was very concerned with how high my blood pressure was. She sent me over to Labor and Delivery for additional monitoring. She didn't know if they were going to keep me overnight or if I'd just be there for a few hours. It was dependent on how my blood and urine tests came back and how the monitoring came out.
We went over to the L&D Triage center and I got admitted. After giving them a urine sample, I spent the next couple hours laying in the bed with the NST monitors and a blood pressure cuff on. They checked my bp every 5 minutes for the first hour, then every 10 minutes for the next hour. Hubby and I watched a movie to help pass the time. With the docs and nurse coming in and with the monitor going off, plus having to contact people to keep them posted (my sister since she had my kids, and my mom and grandma), I missed quite a bit of the movie. What I did see what pretty good though.
In addition to the other tests, the OB on call in L&D did a pelvic exam since I haven't had one since about 20 weeks or so. We found out I'm dilated to 2, 50% effaced, and even though Baby feels like he/she is sitting lower, is still at -3 station. (I've included these couple links for those who are unfamiliar with the terms.)
Obviously after this additional time added to my appointment, hubby didn't make it to work as planned :( He had been planning on going in around 11 or 1130, but since we didn't get back to town until about 2, he said there was no point in going in. Unfortunately that means he gets to spend all day Saturday working and putting in a few extra hours during the week... He's been putting in up to 2 hours extra a night during the week. I don't think he has any idea how much it means to me that he's been so supportive and so involved in this pregnancy. This all would have been a lot more difficult if he wasn't so supportive. I'm so lucky I found such a wonderful man!!
My bp mellowed out and my labs came back alright, so they decided to send me home. I have to go back on Tuesday for another NST, ultrasound, and checkup. They also sent a jug home with me with orders to collect urine for the next 24 hours (YUCK) so that they can check the protein levels in it. Which means we actually have to go back this afternoon to drop it off.
Hubby really doesn't want me to go by myself just in case something happens, even though it's just straight over there and back. I asked my best friend to ride with me, but she has to help her dad move today. I can't go until after 3:30, which is about how late hubby was planning on working anyway, so we decided that I would just wait and we'd go when he gets home. I had to move the seat back in my car, too, cuz my steering wheel was rubbing against the baby belly. It's a little more difficult to reach the pedals now, so I try not to drive out of town if I can help it. Since a friend had asked, here's a belly shot. Not so flattering. But I am still down a total of 8.25 pounds. Yup - I gained 3 pounds this past week.
Next week I have to be back 2x again. The plan was to go on Wed since Scraps has an ENT appointment then, but that doesn't work into their 2x per week schedule. They said one appt has to be Mon or Tues and one has to be Thurs or Fri. So next week I will be at Mayo Tues, Wed, and Thurs. We were having a hard time figuring out how to do this since it would be super hard for hubs to take that much time off, so Grammy is going over with me on Wed for Scrappy's appt. We don't have to be there until 945 for that one, and my appts are at 8am so it would be harder for her to go with to those. I would prefer that hubby is with for mine anyway in case I get kept or anything happens.
And the more that things are going wrong, the more the docs are talking about induction. Hopefully we find out a definite answer very soon. As much as I love my babies and I loved being pregnant, this one has taken quite a toll on me. I'm ready to meet this little one and have some strand of normalcy back in my life.
The NST went much like the last one we did, in spite of my attempt to get Baby to wake up by slamming part of a bottle of Coke for my morning carbs. I started out on my back, then the nurse had me roll to my right side and propped me up with a pillow. We noticed my blood pressure spike quite drastically when I was on my back - I was giving off readings of 148/94, which is MUCH higher than what they want to see. Baby seemed to be sleeping throughout the test again. After 20 minutes, the nurse took a buzzer and put it on my stomach to wake baby up. Then she explained a little better what exactly they're looking for since she was training a new tech. They need Baby's heart rate to increase by 15 beats per minute and stay elevated for at least 10 seconds. Baby has to do this at least 2 times in 10 minutes for the test to be considered 'reactive,' which is what the goal is. The buzzer really seemed to do the trick - I got the living daylights kicked out of me for the next half hour! lol!!
We had another ultrasound to measure the fluid levels around Baby. We were told the level is in the 'normal' range, although it's on the lower side of the normal. This is another thing they're really keeping an eye on. We got a pretty cute face shot of Baby though :)
Next we went to see Dr W. She asked about my sugar levels, which have been really good since I've been on the Glyburide. In spite of me overdoing some of my carbs a little bit now and then, my numbers are staying in range. I've noticed quite often I underdo my carbs too, though. Anyway, Dr W was very concerned with how high my blood pressure was. She sent me over to Labor and Delivery for additional monitoring. She didn't know if they were going to keep me overnight or if I'd just be there for a few hours. It was dependent on how my blood and urine tests came back and how the monitoring came out.
We went over to the L&D Triage center and I got admitted. After giving them a urine sample, I spent the next couple hours laying in the bed with the NST monitors and a blood pressure cuff on. They checked my bp every 5 minutes for the first hour, then every 10 minutes for the next hour. Hubby and I watched a movie to help pass the time. With the docs and nurse coming in and with the monitor going off, plus having to contact people to keep them posted (my sister since she had my kids, and my mom and grandma), I missed quite a bit of the movie. What I did see what pretty good though.
In addition to the other tests, the OB on call in L&D did a pelvic exam since I haven't had one since about 20 weeks or so. We found out I'm dilated to 2, 50% effaced, and even though Baby feels like he/she is sitting lower, is still at -3 station. (I've included these couple links for those who are unfamiliar with the terms.)
Obviously after this additional time added to my appointment, hubby didn't make it to work as planned :( He had been planning on going in around 11 or 1130, but since we didn't get back to town until about 2, he said there was no point in going in. Unfortunately that means he gets to spend all day Saturday working and putting in a few extra hours during the week... He's been putting in up to 2 hours extra a night during the week. I don't think he has any idea how much it means to me that he's been so supportive and so involved in this pregnancy. This all would have been a lot more difficult if he wasn't so supportive. I'm so lucky I found such a wonderful man!!
My bp mellowed out and my labs came back alright, so they decided to send me home. I have to go back on Tuesday for another NST, ultrasound, and checkup. They also sent a jug home with me with orders to collect urine for the next 24 hours (YUCK) so that they can check the protein levels in it. Which means we actually have to go back this afternoon to drop it off.
Hubby really doesn't want me to go by myself just in case something happens, even though it's just straight over there and back. I asked my best friend to ride with me, but she has to help her dad move today. I can't go until after 3:30, which is about how late hubby was planning on working anyway, so we decided that I would just wait and we'd go when he gets home. I had to move the seat back in my car, too, cuz my steering wheel was rubbing against the baby belly. It's a little more difficult to reach the pedals now, so I try not to drive out of town if I can help it. Since a friend had asked, here's a belly shot. Not so flattering. But I am still down a total of 8.25 pounds. Yup - I gained 3 pounds this past week.
Next week I have to be back 2x again. The plan was to go on Wed since Scraps has an ENT appointment then, but that doesn't work into their 2x per week schedule. They said one appt has to be Mon or Tues and one has to be Thurs or Fri. So next week I will be at Mayo Tues, Wed, and Thurs. We were having a hard time figuring out how to do this since it would be super hard for hubs to take that much time off, so Grammy is going over with me on Wed for Scrappy's appt. We don't have to be there until 945 for that one, and my appts are at 8am so it would be harder for her to go with to those. I would prefer that hubby is with for mine anyway in case I get kept or anything happens.
And the more that things are going wrong, the more the docs are talking about induction. Hopefully we find out a definite answer very soon. As much as I love my babies and I loved being pregnant, this one has taken quite a toll on me. I'm ready to meet this little one and have some strand of normalcy back in my life.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Mixed Emotions
Yesterday's appointments didn't go quite as well as we had hoped for. I'm riding an emotional roller-coaster right now because of everything going on and all the stress and emotions involved with pregnancy.
My first appointment was for the non-stress test. They let Scrappy come in with us for this one since he was being pretty mellow. For those who have never had one, a non-stress test is one where I sit back in a recliner with my feet up. The nurse puts 2 straps around my stomach with monitors on them. One was put at the top of my stomach to monitor for contractions and the other is placed over Baby to monitor movement. During this I also had a blood pressure cuff on that would periodically monitor my blood pressure. The test can last anywhere from 20 to 40 minutes, depending on how the baby responds.
We seem to have a pretty stubborn baby. I was hooked up for the entire 40 minutes. Baby's heart rate was in the lower 150's. During the test, the nurse monitors how many times the baby moves and what the baby's heart rate does. The goal is that when baby moves, his/her heart rate is supposed to go over 160 and stay there for a short period. Baby did NOT want to cooperate. We listened to hiccups for a while, which was the extent of the movement we were getting. The nurse pushed on my stomach and had me change positions, rolling over to my left and rolling over to my right side. I pushed on my stomach. Scrappy yelled at and talked to Baby and pushed on my stomach. Daddy pushed and shook and rubbed his hands on my stomach. In spite of my carb restrictions, I even ate part of a granola bar to see if the sugar was going to get Baby moving. We got a few kicks here and there, but not a lot. Baby is most active around supper time and bed time, or really early in the morning and is pretty mellow throughout the day. I was concerned, though, when I saw what my blood pressure readings were. Throughout my pregnancy, my bp has been about 110/65-70. My last appointment, Dr R said it was running a little high. At this appointment, it varied with the top ranging from 128-138 and the bottom running from 83-92.
My second appointment there were no kids allowed, so Daddy and Scrappy had to wait in the waiting room during that one. The ultrasound tech didn't do any measurements on how big baby was, just concerned about checking how much fluid there is and a few other measurements the doc needed. She said Baby was 'face down' so she couldn't get a good profile shot. But here you can see Baby's face, shoulder, and hand.
Then it was on to my third and last appointment - seeing the doc. We didn't see my normal doc, but we got to meet another (Dr W), which is good just in case mine isn't there when we go in. She was very brief and to-the-point. I don't think we were in the room for more than 10-15 minutes with her. She looked over my glucose readings since the medication started and looked over the non-stress test and bp results. She was not happy with my bp being up since it's been so low until recently. Of course she said she was concerned about pre-eclampsia and now wants me coming in twice per week. Normally, she said, she wouldn't be so concerned about my bp since it's not horribly high, but because of the gestational diabetes AND the bp, she'd rather I come in more often. She said if it stays high, she would like to induce me at 36 week. I told her that Dr R had talked about induction at 34 weeks if it was high. She didn't agree with that. But I guess in the end it's up to what the two of them decide. We're going back to see Dr W on Friday for a follow-up. I'm not sure how she wants me to handle 2x per week after that since my next 2 appointments after that are on Wednesdays to coincide with Scrappy's. We'll just have to see what happens. On the 9th, we're scheduled to see Dr R again.
And after some discussion, my husband and I decided to stop down and change my registration. We upgraded to a private room. I'd rather not have someone else's newborn keeping me up all night or have to deal with their family visiting if I wanna nap during the day.
I guess I'm as ready as I'm every going to be for this baby to come. I'm kind of nervous because so many things have gone wrong already and I'm afraid of what else can go wrong. I'm excited to see the little angel that's been kicking and hiccuping and growing in me for the last 32 1/2 weeks. I'm terrified of the possibility of Baby needing surgery. But we're seeing some of the best doctors in the country at Mayo. We just need to put our trust in them.... We really can't do any more to prepare...
I'm getting restless and sore and craving everything I can't eat because of the diabetic diet. I swear if I could, I'd chug a gallon of high-pulp orange juice right now!!!
My first appointment was for the non-stress test. They let Scrappy come in with us for this one since he was being pretty mellow. For those who have never had one, a non-stress test is one where I sit back in a recliner with my feet up. The nurse puts 2 straps around my stomach with monitors on them. One was put at the top of my stomach to monitor for contractions and the other is placed over Baby to monitor movement. During this I also had a blood pressure cuff on that would periodically monitor my blood pressure. The test can last anywhere from 20 to 40 minutes, depending on how the baby responds.
We seem to have a pretty stubborn baby. I was hooked up for the entire 40 minutes. Baby's heart rate was in the lower 150's. During the test, the nurse monitors how many times the baby moves and what the baby's heart rate does. The goal is that when baby moves, his/her heart rate is supposed to go over 160 and stay there for a short period. Baby did NOT want to cooperate. We listened to hiccups for a while, which was the extent of the movement we were getting. The nurse pushed on my stomach and had me change positions, rolling over to my left and rolling over to my right side. I pushed on my stomach. Scrappy yelled at and talked to Baby and pushed on my stomach. Daddy pushed and shook and rubbed his hands on my stomach. In spite of my carb restrictions, I even ate part of a granola bar to see if the sugar was going to get Baby moving. We got a few kicks here and there, but not a lot. Baby is most active around supper time and bed time, or really early in the morning and is pretty mellow throughout the day. I was concerned, though, when I saw what my blood pressure readings were. Throughout my pregnancy, my bp has been about 110/65-70. My last appointment, Dr R said it was running a little high. At this appointment, it varied with the top ranging from 128-138 and the bottom running from 83-92.
My second appointment there were no kids allowed, so Daddy and Scrappy had to wait in the waiting room during that one. The ultrasound tech didn't do any measurements on how big baby was, just concerned about checking how much fluid there is and a few other measurements the doc needed. She said Baby was 'face down' so she couldn't get a good profile shot. But here you can see Baby's face, shoulder, and hand.
Then it was on to my third and last appointment - seeing the doc. We didn't see my normal doc, but we got to meet another (Dr W), which is good just in case mine isn't there when we go in. She was very brief and to-the-point. I don't think we were in the room for more than 10-15 minutes with her. She looked over my glucose readings since the medication started and looked over the non-stress test and bp results. She was not happy with my bp being up since it's been so low until recently. Of course she said she was concerned about pre-eclampsia and now wants me coming in twice per week. Normally, she said, she wouldn't be so concerned about my bp since it's not horribly high, but because of the gestational diabetes AND the bp, she'd rather I come in more often. She said if it stays high, she would like to induce me at 36 week. I told her that Dr R had talked about induction at 34 weeks if it was high. She didn't agree with that. But I guess in the end it's up to what the two of them decide. We're going back to see Dr W on Friday for a follow-up. I'm not sure how she wants me to handle 2x per week after that since my next 2 appointments after that are on Wednesdays to coincide with Scrappy's. We'll just have to see what happens. On the 9th, we're scheduled to see Dr R again.
And after some discussion, my husband and I decided to stop down and change my registration. We upgraded to a private room. I'd rather not have someone else's newborn keeping me up all night or have to deal with their family visiting if I wanna nap during the day.
I guess I'm as ready as I'm every going to be for this baby to come. I'm kind of nervous because so many things have gone wrong already and I'm afraid of what else can go wrong. I'm excited to see the little angel that's been kicking and hiccuping and growing in me for the last 32 1/2 weeks. I'm terrified of the possibility of Baby needing surgery. But we're seeing some of the best doctors in the country at Mayo. We just need to put our trust in them.... We really can't do any more to prepare...
I'm getting restless and sore and craving everything I can't eat because of the diabetic diet. I swear if I could, I'd chug a gallon of high-pulp orange juice right now!!!
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